put the blame on me

I don't look forward to the day that I have to go back to school after a vacation. Aside from having to work my butt off again, it means that I'm going to see former students again. There are two groups of these: Those who passed and those who failed.
Those who passed the previous term and knew they deserved to usually give me polite smiles. A few would not even give me a glance. Maybe they just did not like the subject or did not like me as a teacher, or both.
Those who passed and don't know why they did (compassion is the word, idiots!) would give me grins as wide as a four-lane highway.
Those who failed and knew they deserved to, give me mixed reactions. Some can't even look my way. Some beg me to take them again in my class for a second chance. Some give me sarcastic smiles and smirks as if I was the one who did not study for the final exam. Why is it that whenever students fail, they blame everything but themselves? If it will make them happy, then they can put the blame on me.
Those who failed and don't know why... I have no such students.

I Never Liked Failing Students

The final grades are in and here are the stats! Out of the 80 students, 64 passed. Of the 16 who failed this term, 6 are repeat offenders (that means they failed the same subject the previous term). The other 6 repeaters made it to the next level!
I never liked failing students for two reasons. Reason 1: If a student fails in my subject, I am partly to blame. My job is to teach and make students learn. If they did not learn, then I failed in my job. Or did I? What If I gave them all the assistance and considerations and they still failed? What If I know that I taught them the best I can and they still failed? Then I can stop kicking myself in the butt and go on to the next set of new students.
Reason 2: The tuition fee students pay is "f-ing" high that I pity the parents. I know because I'm a parent who sends my kids to school too. Whenever a student fails, money and time are wasted.
But I can't just make every student pass without him even turning in the minimum stuff needed to pass can I? It breaks my heart whenever I encode a red mark. But we all have a job to do. Teachers teach. Students study. So there.

Students Should Know Their Status

Today is the final examinations in physics. I have 80 students who'd be taking it. Less than 10 of them need not take the exam anymore. They've accumulated enough credits that they'll pass no matter what the outcome of the exam is. About the same number need not take the exam for the opposite reason. About 75% need certain scores to pass. They know what score they need. I showed them the numbers.
This is one of those things I always do. I let my students know their status before the final exam. Although they already have an idea of their performance (I return marked papers the first meeting after each test), I don't want my students to be guessing.
After the finals, i promptly mark the papers and then post the scores. I just post the scores opposite their student numbers (never opposite their names) to minimize the humiliation any failing student would feel. After they have seen their scores, very few of them see me to verify the results.
I don't understand when teachers hoard unmarked papers which they only check a day before the grades are due for submission. I always almost want to tell them "Get the hell out of teaching!".

There's No Money Here

There is no money in teaching. Some people are born with money. Lucky them. Those who are not as lucky work their butts off trying to earn some. All these "unlucky ones" dream of becoming rich someday. Some say it's about choosing the right career and starting from there. Choose any career but teaching they say.
There is no money in teaching. So why am I a teacher? Oh I love teachers! As a student, they were my source of amusement. Some teachers are funny. Those who were not, I made fun of. Well, my path to becoming a source of amusement to students started in 1984. That's a looooong time ago and I don't want to bore myself typing the details so I'll make it short. I became a teacher because of the difference between 600 pesos and 500 pesos. To make it shorter, I became a teacher because of 100 pesos! The details are real tearjerkers and yawn-inducing so I'll spare you.
Some people use teaching as the platform into something "better" as some of my classmates did. One's now a lawyer. The other is married to a lawyer. Some are still teaching but I know would jump away the moment the first whiff of something different comes. Some already left for some teaching job in foreign countries where the pay is ten times as much. I know at least one who's still teaching and would never leave.
If there is no money in teaching, especially in this country, why do some people stay as teachers?

astignaguro is what i want to be

this is my first blog. i'm turning 40 tomorrow and this is the first time i've ever posted a blog.
astignaguro. literally "a tough teacher". if you are from my part of the planet, you know that this connotes lots of things. you may even think that i am a little centripetal for claiming such a name. i admit i haven't heard anybody call me that... yet. i hope i do before i die. if not, i'll just leave a note (to be opened only when i finally kick the bucket) to put it on my tombstone in lieu of my name. even if i don't deserve it. why the obssession with it?
everyone likes the idea of leaving an indelible mark behind when they die. i am not an exception. neither are you. mine's having been an astignaguro. i wish at least one person learned something from me that is worthy of him or her calling me one. i wish i can teach young people how things in this world work without robbing them of their imaginations and individuality. i wish i can do that. i wish i can be an astignaguro.